It's important to recognize that funerals and memorial ceremonies are for the living ... for those who are affected by the loss of a loved one. It is through the funeral process that a number of emotional needs are met for those who grieve.

The gathering of family and friends helps to provide the emotional support so needed at this time. This will help those who grieve to face the reality of death and to take the first step toward a healthy emotional adjustment.

"What Does a Funeral Director Do?"

It has been estimated that over 136 individual activities must take place in order for one funeral to be conducted. The funeral director is actually an organizational specialist.

Here is a condensed list of some of the more visible activities of a typical funeral director.

• Removal and transfer of the deceased from place of death to the Funeral Home.
• Professional care of the deceased, which may include sanitary washing, embalming preparation, restorative art, dressing, hairdressing, casketing and cosmetology.
• Conduct a complete consultation with family members to gather necessary information and to discuss specific arrangements for a funeral.
• File all certificates, permits, affidavits, and authorizations, as may be required.
• Acquire a requested amount of certified copies of the death certificate needed to settle the estate of the deceased.
• Compile information and create an obituary for placement in the newspaper and/or website of the family's choice.
• Make arrangements with a family's choice of clergy person, church, music, etc.
• Make arrangements with cemetery, crematory, or other place of disposition.
• Provide a register book, prayer cards, funeral folders, and acknowledgements.
• Offer the assistance of notifying relatives and friends.
• Arrange for clergy honorariums, music, flowers, death certificates, obituaries, additional transportation, etc.
• Care and arrangement of floral pieces
• Arrange for pallbearers, automobiles, and special services (fraternal or military)
• Care and preservation of all floral cards, Mass cards, or other memorial contributions presented to the funeral home.
• Direct the funeral in a most professional manner, and be in charge of the funeral procession to the cemetery or other place of disposition.
• Assist a family with social security, veterans insurance, and other claims.

What steps are involved in making funeral arrangements?

A funeral or memorial service can be tailored to fit each of our families. Families are invited and encouraged to honor their loved ones in a manor that they feel is meaningful. The funeral director will be your partner in helping you provide a special remembrance.

The funeral director will ask a variety of questions that will be used to complete necessary documents, forms and permits. Information about the deceased, such as full legal name, date of birth, place of birth, social security number, usual occupation, legal address, years of education, father's name, and mother's maiden name will be needed.

Information for the obituary is usually obtained at this time. Items such as date and place of marriage, how long the person had lived in the area, educational degrees, a brief employment history, memberships of any clubs or organizations, hobbies and survivors are needed on an obituary. If the family desires, the funeral director will list their preferences for memorial gifts.

The funeral director will discuss with the family their preferences for the service time and location. The director will help to coordinate the service, including officiant, musical selections, organist, vocalist, pallbearers and final resting place.

If you have any questions regarding the arrangement process, please contact us at info@pattonfh.com, or call 507.526.2102.

Funeral Etiquette

Who do I need to notify?
Family members and close friends of the deceased should be notified as soon as possible by telephone. If you are not able to make all of the phone calls personally, provide a friend or family member with a list of people that should be called. If the funeral arrangements are known at the time you call, be sure to provide that information as well.

Should I send flowers or make a donation?
It is always appropriate to send flowers to the funeral home unless otherwise requested. Flowers may also be sent to the family. Be sure to check the obituary in the newspaper or click here to view our online obituaries, to see if any specific request was made. It is not necessary to send the flowers immediately. They can also be sent several days or weeks following. Many times the obituary will list charities that were designated by the deceased or their family. Donations may then be made to the charity in memory of the deceased.

What should I wear?
It is no longer necessary to wear black to a funeral. However, you should choose dress clothes that are more subdued in color and style.

What do I do at a visitation?
Upon entering, sign your name in the guest book. You may then express your sympathy to the family members. Many times the family will be in a receiving line near the casket. You may also pay your respects to the deceased. If a kneeling bench is placed in front of the casket, you may kneel and say a prayer. If you do not wish to kneel, you may stand in front of the casket for a moment.

What do I say?
What you say depends entirely on your relationship with the deceased and their family. If the deceased is an acquaintance or casual friend, you may say, "I'm sorry." or "He was a wonderful person." However, if you are closer to the family, you may want to ask if there is anything you can do to help or express your feelings about the deceased. You should not ask for details from the family about the illness or death.

Is it OK for children to attend funerals?
Depending on their age and their relationship with the deceased, it can be helpful for children to attend the services. By attending, children are given the opportunity to say goodbye to someone they love. Funerals and viewings also allow children to start the grieving process. If in doubt, simply explain to the child what will happen at the services and ask them if they would like to go.

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